I have been pondering what goes through a woman's mind when they divorce/break up with their "baby daddy" and why they try and poison their child's minds against the "other parent". If you have read my previous posts then you know that I am both a biomom and a stepmom. I don't remember being angry when my son's dad and I broke up. In fact, it was kind of a relief. I remember just wanting to get out of that relationship that was leading absolutely nowhere. Granted I was 16 at the time and 4 months pregnant, but I remember thinking "I am sad that we are breaking up but for my mental and physical health (being pregnant and emotional, he wasn't physically abusive) this is the best thing that can be done." I remember thinking "No matter WHAT happens between me and him, I would never keep my son and him from each other. I know what it is like to grow up without a father in my life and I want something different for my children." Needless to say, HE didn't want the same thing for our child that I wanted. Which makes me think (all the time) "Why do these moms who have children, do their damnedest to keep the fathers out of their children's lives? What goes on in their heads thinking that a child shouldn't have the love, support, time, physical and emotional support/care from both of their parents? Am I the crazy one to want my children (and the children of others) to have both parents in their lives?"
I can only think of one answer: "No, I am NOT the crazy one. I am the parent that actually means "the best interest of the child" when I say it." A lot of people have twisted the phrase "the best interest of the child" into a financial meaning. Supporting a child is NOT just financial, it is emotional, physical, mental and financial. So why isn't there a standard for "Child Support" that ISN'T only financial? Financial should be last (in my eyes) because our society is one that tries to take care of each other. There are many programs (W.I.C., medicaid, TANF, ect) that will take care of the financial aspect of raising a child IF, AND ONLY IF, the parents are unable to do so and these programs should be used only in a time of dire circumstances and for a limited time, they shouldn't be used as a permanent solution.
Children should not be used as a weapon against the other parent, a reason to have an income or an incentive to seperate parents from children for the state or court system (using the financial incintives that the states and court systems get for each dollar of CS money they are bringing in). When circumstances permit (location of both parents and the lack of abuse of any kind), 50/50 custody should be the norm, child support should be non-existant (in this case) and once the child reaches a certain age (12?) they should be able to decide on where/when they spend their time. None of this "The judge can listen to their optinion but will make the decision." BS. These are the child's PARENTS and the child's LIFE! If they want to spend more time with mom, let them. If they want to spend more time with dad, let them. PA, HAP and other child abuse should be STOPPED BY THE COURT SYSTEM! It shouldn't be ignored, it should be PUNISHED!
Here are two petitions, one to change the family court system and the other against parental alienation. Happy Wednesday!
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/make-changes-family-courts-and-child-suport-collection-agency/nWjl9f8X
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/stop-parental-alienation-usa/n7l1tFHP
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